Coworker takes new employee under his wing, becomes his closest work friend for months, then over-hears he was just using him for insider information: 'Now I'll have to start all over with someone else'

Author image for Inés Soubrie
Inés Soubrie • Writer and Editor
Jun 29, 2026 7:15 AM EDT

How would you feel if the friend you made at work was actually using you to get access to confidential information?

Making friends in real life is hard enough, let alone thinking about people using you just because of the position you are in. We always try to see the best in people; we treat them with respect and expect the same in return. Sadly, there are some people out there with bad intentions and questionable morals. It would be unbearable to be skeptical of every person we meet. At the end, the only thing we truly can control is how we treat others; if someone wants to mess with you, they will. Sometimes you may think you know someone pretty well, and you will discover a part of themselves you would have never thought existed. 

This woman had a hard time making friends in general, but things changed when she met a kind and welcoming coworker. They had lunch, coffee dates, and long, sincere conversations. Their bond seemed genuine and honest. Until one day, she overheard a conversation. Turns out, their friendship was just an evil plan to get information from her, due to her position at work.  

Personally, I think this is a more embarrassing situation for him than it is for her. Of course, she has nothing to be embarrassed about; feeling disappointed and sad is completely normal. A person who you thought was your friend betrayed you. But in the end, he is stuck with his very questionable morals and a really humiliating plan. She still has her great job and a clear conscience. That is something very few people can have. 

The question here is, would you confront him about it? Or would you let it go and not even bother wasting your time and energy on someone like that? Confrontation is a very necessary tool one has to resort to every once in a while. When you confront someone respectfully and clearly, you are setting a standard for yourself and making clear that your boundaries are non-negotiable. It is a way of letting the other person know how you feel and avoiding similar situations in the future. I think it is very important to communicate with others. But sometimes, the best revenge is no revenge. In this case, this woman will clearly stop being friends with him. There is nothing to work on, nothing to talk about. His intentions were clear, and I would not waste one single breath clearing things up. Keep focusing on your work. And move on. 

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  • 01
    Woman using laptop and looking back.
    via Icons8 Team

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My coworker pretended to be my friend for months and I finally found out why

    “When I started at my current job, one coworker immediately took me under his wing. We'd eat lunch together, he'd invite me to grab coffee, ask about my weekend, remember little details about my life. Honestly, it was nice because I'm not the most social person and making friends at work has never come naturally to me.

    Over the next few months he became the person I talked to the most in the office. If there was office gossip, he'd know it. If I was frustrated about something, I'd vent to him. I genuinely thought we'd stay friends even if one of us left the company someday.

    A few weeks ago I accidentally overheard a conversation between him and another coworker. They didn't know I was nearby. The other guy joked that my coworker must be upset because "his source is getting promoted." My coworker laughed and said something like, "Yeah, now I'll have to start all over with someone else."

    --Relative-Soft-3118

  • 02
    Woman and man working at a modern office looking at a computer.
    via Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • “Turns out he'd been using me as an information source the entire time. Because I worked closely with another department, I'd often hear about upcoming changes before most people. Nothing confidential, just stuff that naturally came up in meetings. He'd ask innocent questions, I'd answer without thinking, and he'd pass information around like he had special connections.”

    -Relative-Soft-3118

  • 03
    Woman and man sitting at a desk looking at a computer.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • “What really got me wasn't that he wanted information. It was realizing how many conversations suddenly made sense. All those check-ins, random coffee breaks, questions that seemed casual at the time. The friendship part might have been real at first, but somewhere along the way it started feeling more like a project to him.

    Now he's acting exactly the same as always and has no idea that I know. I haven't confronted him because honestly I don't know what the point would be. But it's weird sitting across from someone every day when your entire view of them changed in about 30 seconds.

    Maybe I'm overreacting, but finding out someone values your access more than your company kinda su**s.”

    -Relative-Soft-3118

  • 04
    Woman and man looking at a laptop at an office.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • SnarkyUnicorn23

    No, feed him FALSE information!

  • Appropriate-Act1411

    Maybe it’s time to feed him some misinformation.

  • TrumpGrabbedMyCat

    Don't know how anyone could think you were over reacting, you were being used. No-one in the real world would feel good about that.

    I wouldn't spend much time with them now, definitely stop telling him any of the information you previously might have.

    Edit: hilarious suggestion from another commenter I upvoted to just give them fake info, definitely do that. Opposite of what the info is, completely wrong dates. Boy the fun you could have.

  • Safe-Instance-3512

    Stop feeding him information and see if the friendlyness dies.

  • JosKarith

    "OMG, did you hear that someone from your department is getting made redundant? I mean it's obvuoisly not going to be you but..."Q

  • Feeling-Invite7953

    Your coworkers are not your friends,most of the time. Once in awhile you will get lucky to find someone you work with whom you really develop a true bond of friendship with, but most times you are just another fish in the pond.

  • Stan__Wright

    Pass on some juicy but false rumours.

  • schlomo31

    Ghost him immediately I learned the hard way. Trust noone at work

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